Members of the Midnight Society rarely told stories which overlapped with one another, but it seemed that Sardó, an effeminate shop owner with scrupulous taste in vests, struck a chord with the denim-clad children. “Are You Afraid of the Dark?” ran on Nickelodeon’s SNICK from 1992 to 1996 (yes, I’m willfully ignoring the reboot), during which Sardó appeared in six mesmerizing episodes. According to Gary, Sardó and his store offered the perfect backdrop for a camp-fire tale. After all, the guy was entirely aloof to the fact that he was peddling real black magic to unwitting kids…

Playskool’s My Buddy was more than just a baby doll for boys, he was a pal. The kind of pal who always wanted to do whatever you were doing, go wherever you were going. My Buddy was a role model. I wanted to dress like him and have my hair cut to match his. My Buddy wasn’t just the name of the toy, this guy was my buddy. We played in the sandbox, he came with me to sleepovers at my grandma’s house, and waited patiently for me to come home from school. In return for his loyalty, I never cut his hair, lost his shoes, or drew on his face. His constant smile was the only thank you I needed…

My love for cooking did not come from my mom. Hell, we knew damn well to stay out of her kitchen or we’d get smacked with a wooden spoon. No, my culinary passion can be traced back to a late 80s birthday gift from many years ago. The Chef de Parti to my Apprenti was none other than a mad scientist named Dr. Dreadful.

The Dr. Dreadful Food Lab was the male answer to the Easy Bake Oven (predating Creepy Crawlers by several years.) Your kitchen table instantly became your very own laboratory, where you would orchestrate a series of dishes that “looks gross but tastes great!” These varied from bubbling brain stew eaten straight from the shrunken skull bowl, to the homegrown and edible monster skin (I’m still not sure what it was made of.) I became mad with power, a gourmet Dr. Moreau, mixing and matching the various flavored powders and ingredients to create just the right gummy tarantula…

We’ve seen it before, marketing execs forcing bands of the moment to put their songs in the next big blockbuster soundtrack. What’s even more interesting (or awful) are the songs that incorporate thematic elements of the movie into their lyrics and sound. Sometimes it unexpectedly works out (see Prince’s Batman soundtrack…okay, minus the Batdance.) But more often than not, the audience gets the shit end of the deal (see anything by Tangerine Dream.) Love ‘em or hate ‘em, they’ll definitely get stuck in your head. Ladies and gentlemen, we present the top ten worst original songs written for movies…

Dear Disney Channel,
Once upon a time you created original content not containing oversexed tweens in sitcoms with synergistic music deals. This was a glorious time. The bizarre yet incredibly entertaining Mother Goose Rock ‘n’ Rhyme was your crowning achievement. Now all I have left of this fish-eyed lens, rock-opera nightmare are fuzzy memories that still [...]

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There was an all too brief time when Jim Varney’s Ernest P. Worrell was a cultural icon. At first he was limited to State Fair appearances and car dealership commercials, but somewhere along the way, he became the star of four successful theatrical films, and later, five direct to video follow-ups. I’ve taken to regularly asking my friends which is their favorite Ernest movie. I get a lot of “Ernest Goes To Camp,” and a few misguided bastards who defend “Saves Christmas” and “Scared Stupid.” But very rarely do I hear people mention what is far and away Varney’s greatest film…

What is hopefully the first in a long tradition of hard-hitting critical comparison articles, join us in pitting two of our favorite time-displaced pal’s against each other. Sure, we could’ve done an in-depth analysis of the repercussions these two discoveries would’ve had on the scientific community, but in the end we just wanted to know who would make a better friend… a dinosaur who can shred or a caveman with great dance moves?

Gogo Dodo was a peripheral character on the Nickelodeon after-school cartoon, Tiny Toon Adventures. Like most of the other characters on the show, he attended Acme Looniversity. What set Gogo apart, was that he lived in an alternate universe called Wacky Land – the entrance to which was just at the end of the bridge leaving Acme Acres…

Parental supervision? Check.
Large flexible sheet of plastic featuring your favorite cartoon? Check.
Colored pencils? Check.
325° Oven? Check.

“Never Forget” is a series of short articles that aim to free specific film, television, and video game characters from the eternal damnation that is pop-culture limbo.

Before he was getting his ass kicked by a T-Rex, Joseph Mazzello was getting his ass kicked by his step-dad. In the 1992 drama, Radio Flyer, Bobby took the brunt of the King’s rage while his brother, Mikey (Elijah Wood) watched from afar. Instead of telling their mother about her new husband’s penchant for beating the snot out of her baby boy, the two brothers instead decided to build an airplane out of a toy wagon…